Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
