she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
