and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
