I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's shark week go big or go home
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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