My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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