Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
