The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
