Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
