My nipple is on Facebook.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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