the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
