my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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