Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
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Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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