I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
