i barfeds in our rink
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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