I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
