when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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