I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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