I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
