Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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