I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There r osticjed everywhere
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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