Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
