O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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