I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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