i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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