Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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