I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
