WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
