Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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