Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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