Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
