Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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