Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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