I wish I could punch you in the face.
handjob tips. give me some.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
