we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Your dad touched me again.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
