erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
