Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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