ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you never un-have a 4some
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
