Bisexual people are plain selfish.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
