Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
