Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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