She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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