was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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