You're so nebulous sometimes
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
