Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
