C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm passing your future prison.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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