Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
