I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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