JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
