My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I deserve this hangover.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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