She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
