You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize