I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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