I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.