Michael Bay diarrhea
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like a drive thru vagina
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE