You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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