we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway