Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom