i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
