these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
