So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize