I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
