I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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