haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
