i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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