just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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