oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have tasted many bathrooms
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
