she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
