It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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