just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
