Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
