Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
