Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
