loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize