His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
